Have you ever tried living alone?

Many of us dread the idea of living alone, even for a day, let alone whole life. Loneliness scares us. We always want to be surrounded by people who are dear to us. At least we need to keep interacting with the world either through phone, TV or internet. Why is that so? 

In one of the discourses in Tipitaka (MN 4: Bhaya-bherava Sutta) Buddha takes a closer look at this fear of loneliness.

First let us see why we find it difficult to be alone in a solitary place. Buddha lists the following reasons.

1. Having a restless body, which always wants to keep doing something.
2. Having uncontrolled sensual desires.
3. Having ill will, hatred for others, and an inclination to do destructive activities.
4. Being lazy and drowsy.
5. Having a restless mind that keeps wandering.
6. Having no faith in anything, and doubting everything.
7. Craving for attention from others. Craving for fame, wealth and power.
8. Finding fault with others and criticizing others.
9. Having fear for unknown things – fear of wild animals, ghosts and other fearful creatures.
10. Not having a determined mind that does not waver from its goal.

Buddha explains his own early life when he started living a solitary life. He lived all alone in fearful forests; near shrines of fearful deities; on all ill-fated nights (such as new moon nights). Initially he too found it difficult.

At times “when a wild animal made fierce sounds, a bird made a twig suddenly fall, or even when the wind rustled the fallen leaves, his hair would stand on one end. But then, he would convince himself that he has lived a righteous life and he has nothing to fear. He was determined to go on with his solitary life”.

So, when the fear arose, he just ignored it and went on doing whatever he was doing as if nothing has happened. He meditated with single minded concentration forgetting everything else.

The end result – Buddha finally attained his enlightenment. He came to know what needs to be known. He had achieved the purpose for which he chose his solitary life.

But why then Buddha continued to live in solitary life even after enlightenment? He could have gone back to his palace and lived like a monarch. Why didn’t he do that?

Buddha says that he was aware that many people look at him for inspiration, as a role model; and would mimic him in every possible way. So he continued in his solitary life most of the time just to set an example. Because he loved everyone, because he was full of sympathy for human suffering, and because he wanted to lead them in the right direction.

Do we have Gurus today who think like that?